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agapi mou
2005-10-30, 4:14 p.m.
One of our fish died. His name was Adonis #2. I knew he was going to die. It seemed inevitable. Poor little fellow was flailing around in his bowl. Wouldn't eat. And had lost his vibrant colors. I tried to save him.
We went out Saturday night and when we came home he was dead. Adonis and I were devastated by this discovery. I burst into tears. Adonis was trying very hard not to do the same. Thank god Rose #2 was still alive.
And then Adonis told me that when we were out, earlier, he had been thinking about which one of us would die first, because of what was happening with the fish.
"I know it will be me," he told me.
"Don't say that!" I didn't want to hear it.
"NO, I'm serious Rose. I feel it very strongly. I will be the first to die."
"But you're younger than me, you're supposed to live longer. And besides, I don't want you to die before me."
"Well I"m sorry, that's the way it's going to be. Because if you die before me, I could not live without you."
"Well if you die, I will surely die minutes after you do," I promised him. Which only made me cry more.
We held each other tight for about two minutes, the body of the dead fish in the bowl beside us. I couldn't look. I didn't want to think about death.
It was a reminder. An omen, maybe? Some kind of sign?
"Rose, I swear to god I don't want you to get another one, okay? It's too hard."
I agreed. It was hard. I had no idea I would be so devastated by the death of a little blue betta fish. But truth be told, it was more than that. It was the death of something Adonis and I shared. And the idea that one day one of us would die, leaving the other.
I went over to the "Rose" fish. She hadn't been feeling well either, but the warmth from the light-bulb seemed to be doing her a world of good. She was eating now.
We couldn't dispose of the fish that night. Neither of us were strong enough to flush the poor thing down the toilet. And we certainly couldn't sleep in the same room with death. So I put the bowl in the kitchen and disposed of "Adonis" the next morning, before making breakfast.
I still feel sad.
*****
Funny, I read somewhere that when a woman wears a grapefruit scent a man will perceive her to be six years younger, so I've been obsessed with finding the right grapefruit scented perfume.
IN the meantime I went out and bought the new Oil of Olay Microdermabrasion and PEel System, and used it before we went out on Saturday. Swear to god my husband looked at me (mind you it was after a few drinks, and many "I love you's") and told me I looked like i was 28 years old. (I'm really 36).
Maybe it was my smiling face. I have much improved my outlook.
The incident with Sherry has strengthened our relationship and our love for one another (who would have thought!) And we are both happier than we have ever been.
Happiness is the true fountain of youth, along with a positive outlook.
*****
OH speak of the devil, my husband....just sent me a text message. "Agapi Mou", which means, "My love".
YESTERDAY - TOMORROW 
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