|
|
|
the past is past
2005-06-29, 3:48 p.m.
WOW...i was just reading my friend's blog. she is an excellent writer. she's led a very interesting life and has some very strong opinions. if you want to check her out this is her site address - http://www.afterophelia.com.
anyway i was reminded of the way i used to write, when i was single, when i had everything and nothing to write about. quite honestly i think i was a better writer before i found love. now my edge seems to have become smoothed over by my relationship with adonis.
don't get me wrong, i am very happy that adonis is in my life. but i miss writing with an edge. is it lost forever?
this doesn't qualify. what is this anyway?
this is the annoying email you get from your friend when she's so in love you can barely stomach it.
come on admit it....you were much more intrigued when i was writing about being bent over ross's desk than you are now.
gotcha!
*******
last night adonis took me out for dinner with our friends Nickos and Herula. we had a really great time. the best part of it, for me, was his arms around my chair and the way his eyes held my eyes, and his hands rested in my hands. he is such a passionate creature. evidence of his love for me grows daily. i continue to be amazed and so appreciative of his growth in this relationship. i look forward to seeing him mature into a man as he goes through his thirties and forties.
******
i don't know why i did it, but i contacted several of my ex's to let them know that i'm now married. Smith, the poet, who teaches at a University in upstate New York and is/was dating a New York Times bestselling author the last time we spoke. Ross (who claims to be very happy for me). Rich who replied with a "Where will you live, here or Greece?" and then nothing else. And Ted who completely ignored my email.
i don't know what i expected from them or my motivation in writing them. all of them were nothing more than void-fillers. maybe i want them to know that somebody loved me enough to make me their wife, even if it wasn't them. AND THANK GOD. when i think about the possibility that i might have ended up with, married, or continued compromising myself for any of these men it makes me incredibly sad and thankful that i was able to move forward into the arms of a man who is able to give me everything i deserve.
thank god the past is not permanent. for now they will all remain distant memories, their photos letters and such packed away in boxes that sit now in the basement of my birthmother's house. a lot of these things were thrown away, but some of them i was not ready to part with. don't ask me why....
*****
i'm not sure how i feel about working in my new spot at work. i don't really connect with anyone here. that makes me sad. look, i know it's just a job...but the climate here is cool...and i'm a warm person. it's a little bit like mixing oil and water. i can't be myself.
i shouldn't complain. there's down time here and i'm able to write, read and learn my greek when there's nothing else to do. the kind of job i used to wish for.
be careful what you wish for.
********
my sister is having another baby. i'm not sure how i feel about this, but is it really any of my business.
it's just that she already has my nephew to think about, he's 12 now. such a good kid. and as it is she has nothing. she lived most of her life addicted to drugs. heroin is what finally brought her to her knees. now she's living in a halfway house, where she has to stay for two years, and she's ready to have another baby. and she's a single mom with no income!
my nephew, who came to my wedding with my birthmother, thinks it's the greatest thing. now he will have a brother. i didn't want to rain on his parade so naturally when he brought it up i just smiled and said, "That's great Joseph."
adonis was so good to him. it was Joe's b.d. and we gave him $60. what does my nephew do, he goes out with my mother and buys adonis a t-shirt that says GREECE and me a bracelet and necklace set with some of his money!!! so what does adonis do, he turns around and two hours before we're supposed to leave for city hall to get married, he takes my nephew out on a shopping spree and spends $250 dollars on him.
******
I'm reading a great book, it's called "The Secret Life of Bees".
Tom Cruise has lost his mind. No, seriously, I'm very concerned.
YESTERDAY - TOMORROW 
LEAVE A COMMENT
|
|
|
