oh dear bread and beer
2005-10-14, 4:13 p.m.
is that an expression anybody has heard before? for some reason it popped into my head.
i guess i want to start out by saying that when i ended "Eight Years Old", with the phrase "I was a mistake", I wrote this from the view of an eight year old. this was a conclusion i came to at that age.
NOW, as a 36 year old woman I am very clear about the fact that I was NOT a mistake.
i do so appreciate your concern and support. this is not a pity party.
it is important when reading my poetry not to take everything at face value. i will be writing many pieces over the next few months about my childhood, and all of this will be written from this same perspective.
i believe that i was put on this earth, just like all of us were, for a reason. and there are no mistakes when it comes to being born.
i am presently reading, "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren.
what a journey.
*******
returned from a five day trip to colorado on monday. it was beautiful, but the air was too thin and we were plagued with headaches and nausea.
could not enjoy the romance packages i had pre-ordered to our hotel room (i.e. champagne and strawberries), because the alcohol only worsened the symptoms. also, had my period.
so that was a major drag.
we did enjoy Denver. it is an extremely efficient, clean city. reminded me a lot of Boston, but less congested. stayed at the Westin Tabor and Hotel Teatro, both magnificent hotels, with impeccable customer service. ventured into Boulder, which reminded me a lot of Cambridge Massachusetts, with a mountain view. then took a bus up to the foothills in Nederland, spent three hours walking around.
went to six flags on saturday. 84 degree weather. glorious sunshine. got sick after the third roller coaster and i had to sit on the sidelines cheering my husband on, while he went through every ride there was. he felt bad leaving me behind, but i didn't want to ruin my day AND his.
the following day it rained, then turned to snow. went to see an IMAX movie.
Monday we were bored and ready to go back home. more snow. but our flight wasn't scheduled to leave until six o'clock. so we saw a movie to kill time. still snowing. 8 inches in the Denver suburbs. called the airline. our flight was delayed THREE hours. we were extremely lucky, there were TWO seats left on the four o'clock which was delayed an hour and a half (thank god), and allowed us ample time to get to the airport.
was glad to get home.
work has been busy.
adonis has been taking extra care to take care of me. he realizes how close he came to losing me, and that he made a BIG mistake.
people make mistakes.
we're stronger now.
i'm stronger now.
stronger than i've been in a long time.
*****
sherry and i are going to visit Martin on Sunday afternoon. adonis is not entirely thrilled with the idea, but there's nothing he can say. I told him, "I would invite you if I could, but, well....you know how that goes...."
i understand he is probably more disappointed that we won't spend sunday together, which is the only day we have during the week to relax and run errands together. but we just spent five consecutive days relaxing together in colorado.
last night i had my greek lesson. i am progressing well. adonis went and had coffee with his friends for an hour or so. i want to trust him, but it's still hard.
rationally i know he's not going to do anything. emotionally i'm still uncertain.
but i can't hold him prisoner. it wouldn't be good for either one of us.
******
i have to get back to the gym.
*****
rain, rain go away, don't come back another day.
too much rain in NYC.
what a drag.
YESTERDAY - TODAY - TOMORROW
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