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a rose like any other rose i'm a little scared right now. i met a girl named rose. same age. same height. same colored hair. involved with a greek man, engaged actually. he's about my husband's age. from the same part of Greece. it gets even stranger. a year ago, before i met rose, i met him - her fiance. adonis knows of him. he has talked to him before. you know just shooting the shit kind of conversation. meaningless. they had some things in common. except for their character. i met this guy out a year ago at a local cafe. i was with adonis. he came up to us and started talking. he repulsed me. something about his energy made me want to get as far away from this guy as possible. and why was he talking to adonis? and why was adonis talking to HIM? he greeted me, when introduced with a, "Hey baby." that was strike number three. the first two had to do with his vibe. when he finally walked away adonis saw the look on my face and asked me what was wrong. when i told him i didn't like that guy, he told me the guy was trouble. into drugs. just trouble. but adonis is the kind of guy that will talk to anybody. i didn't put two and two together the way adonis did when i told her about this girl i met, whose name was rose, who was also involved with a greek man. when i described the guy to him he reminded me that i had already met him, and to let her know that she should get out the relationship as soon as possible. of course she already knows this, but has joined the league of very intelligent women who end up involved with asshole men, and stay with them even though they know these men are shit. i met her because she's an apartment broker, and adonis and i were going to move out of our apartment (have since decided against it). she showed me an apartment that was too small, in a neighborhood i didn't like. but i liked her. she's a straight talker. down to earth. very cool. as we walked back to the subway, i asked her a few questions about her relationship with this guy and she opened up to me in ways she told me she never would with a complete stranger. but somehow, "Somehow i feel that i know you, Rose." her situation is not a good one. she is just divorced from an Italian man. someone who loved her so much. she fucked up. she cheated on him, and rather than tell him the truth she punished herself and ended the marriage. on a rebound she meets this guy - this asshole. who used to work the door at a local strip joint. she falls for him. he's charismatic. he's tall, dark, handsome. but he has no money. he gambles. he lives with her and pays no rent. they become engaged six months later and he buys her a ring with her own damn money. she pays his cell phone and starts checking the phone calls. finds out he's been having phone sex with women. talks to one of them who claims she came to rose's house and had sex with this guy four times when she wasn't around. he has an ex girlfriend who keeps calling him. she also claims he still fcks her. but rose refuses to believe it. and when the ex calls her and says, "Come now to my house if you don't believe me, he's in the bed now," rose doesn't go. she's in DENIAL. and she's also in a very dangerous situation. he has hit her before. he can get violent. but then tells her he loves her and like every abused woman, she goes back to him. takes him back. lets him stay in HER house. he hadn't seen his family in six years. they come over from greece and stay with him in Rose's house, and he leaves them with rose and goes out for New Years with his "friends". and me, being the kind of person who can't stand for any of this, i got myself involved with this girl. took her to my house and gave her coffee and listened to her tell me her story. and gave her a few words of advice. 1). You have to get rid of him NOW 2). Use the broken record method. Write a monologue in your head and stick to it. Don't let him distract you or veer you away from the point. When you speak, speak of how you feel, how he makes you feel. No one can argue with how you feel! 3). Make sure you have all your male friends there when you tell him he has to leave. 4). Restraining order and cops, and change the damn lock. 5). Recognize that your relationship with this guy was a rebound, to distract you from the pain of a love relationship, a REAL love relationship ending. (she began to cry when i said this one). 6). Because her father (like my father) rejected her often as a kid, recognize also that when this scum bag rejects you, and it reduces you to fear and insecurity that he'll leave you, it's not him you're afraid of losing, it's your father. And unfortunately going back to this guy, is not going to heal your relationship with your father. ***** i told her today that i had met her man. i told her i didn't like his energy. i told her what adonis knows of his reputation, that he used to be involved with drugs (which she confirmed, but he told her he doesn't do or sell them anymore). and then after hanging up the phone i became scared. what if she tells this guy she got some information from this guy named adonis. what if he puts two and two together and comes after him? and kills him? or tries to hurt him? oh my god what have i done? drug dealers and scum bags are dangerous. he knows who adonis is. he'll remember him. if they run into each other again, i am so afraid. so i called her back and made her promise, which she did of course, that she won't say anything about what i told her. i reminded her that what i told her about this guy were things she already knew about him, and that those things were not the basis for her wanting to throw him out. so please don't bring it up. she told me, with great conviction, that she has no intention of telling him. and that we weren't the only ones who knew things about him. so not to worry, "And thank you so much for your concern and your help! I really appreciate it." i can only hope that she doesn't bring it up. i can't see that she would have any reason to do this. if i had told her something about him she didn't know, i could see her using it, but really we were telling her things she already knew. but i'm still scared. the thought of anyone hurting my husband...and of it being my fault....well it makes me sick.
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