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the high cost of dreams One thing I know for sure about life is that we all live, we all die, eat, shit and pay taxes. Also, once every month we are inundated with bills that need to be paid. I know it sounds strange but I actually enjoy paying my bills. Probably having the money to be able to do this makes all the difference in the world. I love having a to do list and crossing things off. I'm a task master and thrive on accomplishing. Cell phone bill...paid. Electic bill...paid rent, credit cards, cable bill...paid Now that I'm debt free I feel lighter. But there is still one bill that weighs heavily on me and really gets my goat. My school loan. Ah yes, good ole America. Home of the free and the heavily in debted. We live this way because we don't have a universal healthcare system and the cost of education here is astronomical. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that in Canada and several European countries, healthcare and education is paid for by the tax payers. That means you don't have to worry about whether or not you can afford these things, and all men are created equal when it comes to these priveleages. I wouldn't mind paying my for my education if 1). I it didn't cost so much 2). I graduated or 3). I used what I learned to better myself or made a career for myself I studied theater and playwriting and ended up nearly fifty thousand dollars in debt. Yes I have an impressive resume, but not as an actress or a playwrite, as a legal secretary! (Taking a solid 9 to 5 job would be the only way I could manage to actually pay back that loan.) Regardless there are a few good things that came out of it. I met my friend Denny and moved to New York City. There was a time I considered studying fashion. There are several New York fashion schools to choose from, but unfortunately by the time I was ready to move to NYC I already had four years of theater study under my belt and felt that I was too old to begin an entirely new area of study. If I had gone into fashion I likely would have designed baby clothes. There is a lot of money in baby clothes. Babies grow out of their clothes so quickly, before you know it, it's time to buy a bigger size. Also, the amount of material required to make one baby outfit is significantly less than that of an adult and you can often get away with charging the same amount of money as you would for adult clothes. ***** Okay so it's already noon and I have not been able to finish most of the things I wanted to this morning, which is often the case. I don't mean to sound selfish, but this is the hardest part of being a mother. Just when you think you have a moment to yourself the baby wakes up, or there are dishes that need to be done, the house needs a good cleaning, or dinner needs to be cooked. I am always longing for a solid block of ME time, but never seem to get it. Having a hard time getting the baby to stay asleep today. He's been taking catnaps. I am ready to put him in the stroller, take a walk to the local Starbucks, just so that I can get a decent block of time to write. He always falls right to sleep when we set out with the stroller, and usually stays asleep until we get home. Thankfully my husband is starting to be more supportive of my desire to write. I think this is largely due to the fact that I have made it a point to give him a good hour of my time in the evening when the baby is sleeping, before I retire to my "Kitchen" office to get some "work" done. Last night we made love twice. Excuse me for the pun, but I didn't see that coming at all! It has been quite some time since we've had a sexual marathon. When we first met we were doing it sometimes three times a day. Ah yes, those were the days. We were young then. I always joke around with my husband and tell him I chose him because he was younger than me and wanted someone who could keep up or exceed my energy level. The joke is that often times he seems far more run down than I am at only 32 years of age. It wasn't always the case. In fact we both had so much more energy before we were living together. What happened to that energy? Might this have anything to do with familiarity? I guess it doesn't just breed contempt, it breeds exhaustion! No more adrenaline rush of newness to keep the juices flowing. ****** I have a huge crush on Montel Williams. Please don't tell him I told you. Oh, and please don't tell my husband either!
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