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<< plus or minus we shall see >>
I looked up the effects of pregnancy on breastmilk production. This is what I found on KELLY MOM one of my favorite informational sites for mothers. Shit. As you know, my supply has dropped significantly. The problem is I don't have my period back as of yet, so I can't go by that. When a woman breastfeeds it delays the return of her menstrual cycle for months after the birth of a child. Some people believe that breastfeeding is a form of birth control but any doctor will tell you this is not true. What if I'm pregnant? That's the question on my mind all morning now. How will I feel? A part of me gets excited when I think about the possiblity of my son having a sibling to grow up with, but the other part of me - the old broad who is pushing forty and isn't sure she can handle the physical, mental, emotional, financial demands of having another child, is terrified. My mind has been racing all morning with thoughts of how we'd manage. I don't have health insurance. How would we pay for all of my check-ups, sonograms, the hospital? And what about the space! Okay, the baby would have to sleep in the crib, while my son continues to sleep with us. That's manageable. But that's still a lot of bodies in a small one bedroom apartment. Then there's the issue of morning sickness and how I would be able to manage taking care of my son if I get plagued with it again. In fact it was this time last year that I was laid up - the morning sickness came in the morning and never left. I was nauseaous all the time and exhausted. My husband would surely insist that his mother come and help us out for a year, which I'm sure I would need but not necessarily want as I would no longer have any privacy whatsoever. Okay let me not worry about what I don't yet know to be true. Of course the first thing my husband asked me when I called him was how could this be possible? He reminded me that we're barely having sex and when we do he pulls out. I then reminded him that there was "that" time this year, just like "that" time last year when he didn't pull out in time and "That's all it takes honey!" But how could I, at my age, be so fertile as to get pregnant not just once without trying, but twice! This wouldn't be fair - not just to me but to all the women out there that have been trying and trying and cannot conceive. I just can't imagine the odds. In fact the more I think about the odds of this, the less convinced I am that I'm pregnant. Really, I'm sure it's nothing. But all the same I'd like some piece of mind.
sduckie - 2008-04-11 14:41:25 |
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