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another saturday afternoon another argument
It seems to be a pattern with us - these Saturday afternoon arguments It shouldn't have turned into the big deal that it did, with me once again in bed at 7PM and neither of us saying much of anything to the other this morning. Sad isn't it, how two people can be so close in so many ways and yet so far apart when it comes to communicating. Yesterday afternoon I offered to do the laundry, as he had been at the Greek Church Friday evening and all morning Saturday helping his friend clean up after the services. He took me up on my offer and suggested that he and the baby would take a walk to see his friends at the local cafe and that he would get a coffee to go. I guess he could tell by my reaction that I didn't like the idea. I realize now that I should not have scoffed, or objected. I was wrong, actually to make a big deal of it. But I had a point to get across. "It's fine with me as long as the next time a friend wants me to go for a coffee or anywhere for that matter you don't have a problem with it." He got really pissed off and told me again how I've turned into a different person, and then didn't end up going anywhere. I wanted to continue the discussion and get closure, so I followed him into the living room where he sat glued in front of the television. I reminded him that the day before I had mentioned an invite we'd received from a friend of mine who has a house on the Jersey Shore and that it really bothered me that he said nothing. Obviously he had not intention of going. It's so easy for him, all of his friends are blocks away from us. Because of this it's easy for him to maintain a social life. With me, unfortunately all of my friends live in Manhattan, and the commute alone there and back takes about an hour each way. Then I have friends who live out of state. I'm not fortunate enough to have a community of friends in our neighborhood. The other thing is that he doesn't like any of my friends. In truth I really don't mind him seeing his friends or taking the baby for a coffee, but it would be really nice if he returned that sentiment and encouraged me to do the same from time to time. It's the point, the ridiculous point that he's just not getting. For me, time out of the house translates into me and the baby going for a walk, or me going for a walk to do some shopping. For him it always involves interaction with PEOPLE - something I'm really missing in my life. So I guess I'm resentful. The other day when I got out for a few hours to shop, it felt good but it would have been nice to have a girlfriend to do it with. I ended up spending most of my time shopping for baby stuff, got myself an outfit, and bought my husband a pair of designer jeans and some work boots becuase the ones he has were really hurting his feet. He's waking up now, so I better end here. I hope we can work it out. I really do. More for my son than for us. I want him to grow up with happy parents, not parents who are always fighting. Love Rose
Deb - 2008-04-29 11:18:34 |
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