|
<< help, i just ate 18 hershey miniatures! >>
Needless to say I do not feel very well right now. My blood suger level must be through the roof. I told my husband not to buy them, but he didn't listen to me. Then I told him to hide them, and again he didn't listen. So now I have to suffer the consequences of my incredible weakness for chocolate. This just after looking in the full length mirror at my belly, and my jiggly arm flab and vowing to myself to start exercising TODAY. Does this make any sense to you? *********** I neglected to mention yesterday that during Mother's Day lunch with friends the topic of a second child came up. I never understood how people could be so bold (stupid) as to ask me when and if we're planning on having a second child. Like it's anybody's business???? But the topic comes up frequently. Mind you these are smart people. He studied accounting and does financial reporting, and she works at a bank. I guess they never learned to mind their own business. No really, they're wonderful people. Good people. Fun to hang out with. But that question just sort of put a damper on our lunch. There are so many reasons I'm on the fence about a second child, and I've discussed it many times in past entries. But just to reiterate, for those of you who are just joining for the first or second time. I'm almost forty years old and the older a woman gets the higher the risk that something can happen. In my recent pregancy something almost did happen. The labor was extremely difficult and my son and I both had complications. My pregnancy was also difficult. I was sick for a good three months, and exhausted for the majority of the nine months. My husband and I do not have a lot of money. We don't have any family here to help out. I already feel that I have my hands full with the one child. I can't imagine two. But here's the thing, I love the IDEA of a second child. Because, ideally I'd love my son to grow up with a sibling. People are always pointing that out to me. "He needs a sibling, someone to play with. Someone who will be there for him when you die." That's a morbid thought, but I understand where they're coming from. However, I do know that sometimes these things backfire. My brother and I did not get along at all, and to this day have no relationship. With my mother dead and gone twenty five years now, and my father completely out of the picture as well, I know what it feels like to spend the holidays alone with no one. For many years I did just that. I don't ever want that to be the case with my son. What if he never meets the right person to spend the rest of his life with? Once his father and I pass on, he would be alone. I don't know. I'm just so damn confused. all I know is if we're going to do it, we'd better start now. If I get pregnant this summer, I won't have to carry through the summer again. That would be ideal. Also I turn 39 in June, I prefer to have a second child BEFORE turning forty. And then of course there's the issue of my son's father and I getting along and making things work. Probalby the most important factor in my decision. Mind you he's a fantastic father. The best I've ever known really. But he and I have a lot more work to do on our marriage. So there you have it. Now I'm going to the kitchen to make something healthy because I really can't stand myself right now after those damn mini Hershey's. By the way my son is sleeping for longer stretches now. Up to three hours at a time. Also he's capable of putting himself to sleep, and back to sleep when he wakes up. You have no idea how happy this makes me!
sduckie - 2008-05-12 14:53:25 |
|
welcome!
daily entrecard great mom sites
my other blog advertise here
affiliates
blogoversary disclosure
|
