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<< empty >> Sometimes I am struck by an empty feeling. It can come at the most unexpected moments. I'll be doing the dishes, or watching tv, or spending time with the baby and this emptiness creeps in. Right now I feel empty. The baby is sleeping like an angel, he seems to be on a well needed break from teething pains. I go in to check on him and am tempted to take yet another photograph of him while he sleeps but I don't have the energy to do it. So I just stand there staring, taking him in, and thinking about how one day I'll look down at him sleeping and he won't be my little baby anymore, he'll be my teenage son who no longer wants to be around mom and dad. This thought only adds to my despair. I'm afraid I'll fall apart when he no longer needs us. I'm afraid I'll forget who I am without him. I can totally see my husband and I suffering from empty nest syndrome. I never understood how this could happen until now. Last night daddy, baby and me co-slept. Baby slept better than he's slept in nights. Lately when he begins to rouse from his daily naps I move him from the crib into the bed with me and I just lay there with one arm on his back watching him as he falls back to sleep. I'm going for a movie and dinner with my friend Martin tomorrow night. I reminded my husband about my night out last night and he continues to be supportive. Seems we're making some real progress here!
sduckie - 2008-08-05 22:37:55 |
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